Write It Out: Instruction Video
‘When I arrive home, I am a muss of snot, tears, yard dirt, and harbor filth. Mother holds me against her, rears back and gives me an incensed shake, then clasps me again. “You must promise never to run away again. Promise me.“
I want to. I try to. The words are on my tongue – the rounded lumps of them, shining like the marbles beneath the tree.
“Sarah!” she demands.
Nothing comes. Not a sound.
I remained mute for a week. My words seemed sucked into the cleft between my collar bones. I rescued them by degrees, by praying, bullying and wooing. I came to speak again, but with an odd and mercurial form of stammer. I’d never been a fluid speaker, even my first spoken words had possessed a certain belligerent quality, but now there were ugly, halting gaps between my sentences, endless seconds when the words cowered against my lips and people averted their eyes. Eventually, these horrid pauses began to come and go according to their own mysterious whims. They might plague me for weeks and then remain away months, only to return again as abruptly as they left.’
The power of words – and the loss of power when you “lose” your words. When you feel intrinsically that you cannot, without the perception of loss or damage to self, speak your truth. I loved the author’s description of the character Sarah’s feeling of her stuck words – “…on my tongue – the rounded lumps of them…” and of her having to “rescue” them (her words) a little bit at a time, over time.
Writing can help! A regular writing habit can help you to find your words in a safe way. It can be used as a practice space, a place where you can find a way to say how you’re feeling, what you’re thinking.
Write. Write and find your words. Write and find your voice.
Thoughts? Feel free to share them here.